Absolutely Vital News You Need to Have to Survive the Imminent Zombie Attack

First, and most important, happy birthday to George, who turned four on Cinco de Mayo. I can't believe it's been that long since he came to live with us. He was so small that we were afraid we would break him (that's him with Patrick the day he came home).

This is him now. He weighs all of five pounds soaking wet, but he's the king of the house. The four big dogs are terrified of him, particularly when he bites their legs.

Oh, and here is a portrait of George done by my dear friend Sarah Higdon. Sarah is a wonderful artist, and she would be more than happy to immortalize your pets. Check out her site.

Next up, I'm almost done with my new novel, tentatively titled Z. That's "Z as in zombie." And before you get all "you're just jumping on the zombie wagon," this book was signed up almost two years ago. So shut your pie hole.

And anyway, it's not that kind of zombie book. Well, maybe it's a little bit that kind of zombie book. Okay, maybe it's a lot that kind of zombie book. But not really. You'll just have to read it to find out. It will be out in fall of 2010. Make a note of that.

Speaking of making notes, Jane Bites Back is now available for pre-order on Amazon. I'm not wildly happy with Amazon at the moment, what with their recent "gay books are scary" glitch or whatever, but they're the only ones accepting pre-orders at the moment. It also has a release date -- January 26, 2010. I know you're thinking, "Mike, I could be dead by that time," but order it anyway. I know how you are. You'll forget.

And last but not least, I totally sold one of the pictures that was in the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. It's the one of me and my mother looking like creepy Marie Antoinette Dolls. Apparently it was a huge hit. Now someone has it hanging on a wall somewhere. This is v v exciting for me, as it's the first photograph I've sold. I'm going to be launching a site for my photos shortly (meaning sometime between today and when I die). These are done in limited runs of 100, so hopefully there are 100 people who like strange art.

Here's another one that will be for sale shortly. It's called "A Hunting We Will Go." My favorite reaction to it came from someone who saw it on flickr and wrote: This photo is sick, immature, and wrong. Say good bye to your devil worshiping works.

Like I haven't heard that before.

To recap today's very important news, here is your to-do list:

1. Wish George a happy birthday
2. Be excited that Mike is almost done with Z
3. Pre-order Jane Bites Back
4. Be excited that Mike sold a photo