Wednesday, April 15, 2009

UPDATE: Asshat of the Day Abby Toll


It looks as if megastain Abby Toll, the University of Colorado student who was arrested yesterday after police responded to a domestic disturbance call at the apartment of Toll's equally vile boyfriend Bryan Beck and found a Shiba Inu puppy taped to a refrigerator, is even stupider than was first thought. See, in addition to being an animal abuser, Toll apparently has just the merest hint of a drug problem. Or perhaps the heroin that was found on her during her processing at the police station was placed there by evil elves trying to frame her.

Anyway, it's good news for Rex, the puppy Toll wrapped in packing tape after tying his paws and mouth with hair bands. It's also good news for Peanut, the Chihuahua who was taken away from Toll following her arrest on felony animal abuse charges. Because while a conviction on animal cruelty charges inexplicably carries a relatively light sentence, a conviction on felony drug possession charges would pretty much assure that Toll would get to be the new fish for some lucky prison matron (a la Linda Blair in Chained Heat).

It also seems that Rex is just fine now that he's been cleaned up and shown a little love. Here he is in his new digs at the Humane Society of Boulder Valley. And he's there with his buddy Peanut, so it's all good for these cuties.

As for Toll and Burke, they both seem to be out on bail. Toll has apparently taken advantage of her temporary freedom to remove her Facebook profile, maybe because so many people decided to let her know what they think of her. Poor Abby. It's so hard being her.

2 comments:

Queer of Steel® said...

She's a suck-ass dogsitter. In addition to taping the poor little guy to the fridge, she probably spent the whole day chatting with her girlfriends (dealers) on the phone about Idol.

I think we should petition for human euthanasia, especially in animal cruelty cases. And I think the victimized pooches should be trained to pull the switches.

Stephen said...

Thanks for the update. They seem like a real fun couple,huh?

Looking forward to the new book, but is Amazon still on the shit list?
Of course, I am here in Portland & we have Powell's City of Books.